A malaphor is a mix between two or more idioms or phrases. The definition seems to make it out that malaphors are created from a misuse of phrases, usually unintentional or in error. I disagree and say that while some malaphors are a result of confusion or unintentional error, there are many malaphors that are instead clever blendings of common phrases, much like word-play (puns). Here is a list of malaphors that I came up with along with the idioms/phrases they originated from and what they mean. Some of these I’ve been using for years*, some I created myself†, and the rest I found on the Internet. Enjoy!!
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1) “We’ll jump that bridge when we get to it”*
Cross between: “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it” & “If your friends jumped off a bridge, would you?”
Meaning: “When we get to that point in time, we’ll take care of it”
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2) “We’ll burn that bridge while the gettin’s good”†
Cross between: “Don’t burn your bridges” & “Get it while the gettin’s good”
Meaning: “We’ll mess this up while we still have a chance [to do so]”
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3) “We’ll burn that bridge when we get to it”*
Cross between: “Don’t burn your bridges” & “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it”
Meaning: “When we get to that point in time, I’ll mess it up”
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4) “We’ll cross that bridge and eat it too”
Cross between: “We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it” & “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”
Meaning: “Not only will we get over this [situation], we’ll succeed at it as well”
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5) “You have to walk before you can have your cake”
Cross between: “You have to walk before you run” & “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”
Meaning: “You have to do work before you can play/relax”
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6) “Curiosity killed the cake and ate it too”
Cross between: “Curiosity killed the cat” & “You can’t have your cake and eat it too”
Meaning: “Your curiosity & persistence have epicly messed this up”
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7) “It’s not rocket surgery”*
Cross between: “It’s not rocket science” & “It’s not brain surgery”
Meaning: “It’s not as hard as rocket science or brain surgery”
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8) “You’ve opened this can of worms, now lie in it”
Cross between: “To open a can of worms” & “You’ve made your bed, now lie in it”
Meaning: “You’ve complicated things and did this to yourself, now deal with it”
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9) “Don’t beat a dead gift horse in the mouth”
Cross between: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” & “Beating a dead horse”
Meaning: “Don’t be ungrateful when you receive a gift by continuing to complain about it”
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10) “Don’t bite the hand that rocks the cradle”
Cross between: “Don’t bite the hand that feeds” & “The hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world”
Meaning: “Don’t treat your mother (or father) poorly because she sacrificed so much of herself to raise you, and you owe your success in life to her (his) help”
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11) “Imitation is the highest form of flattery, but flattery will get you nowhere”*
Cross between: “Imitation is the highest form of flattery” & “Flattery will get you nowhere”
Meaning: “While [you] imitating my work shows how much you care, your praise will not persuade me to do anything”
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12) “We’ll sit in our ivory tower while Rome burns”
Cross between: “To sit in your ivory towers” & “To fiddle while Rome burns”
Meaning: “We’ll relax/revel in our disillusionment while the world burns before us”
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13) “Don’t put all your chickens in one basket before they’ve hatched”
Cross between: “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket” & “Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched”
Meaning: “Don’t count on a situation happening when no one knows the future, especially by putting all your time/money/resources/etc… into this plan of yours and possibly losing everything”
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14) “All’s fair, but ‘almost’ doesn’t count”†
Cross between: “All’s fair in love and war” & “‘Almost’ only counts in horseshoes and hand grenades”
Meaning: “While your tactics could have worked, you didn’t win, and ‘almost’ doesn’t count as winning”
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15) “A stitch in time gathers no moss”
Cross between: “A stitch in time saves nine” & “A rolling stone gathers no moss”
Meaning: “Success is not created with laziness” or “Procrastination gets you nowhere”
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16) “You can lead the horse to water, but you can’t take the water out of the horse”†
Cross between: “You can lead the horse to water, but you can’t make it drink” & “You can take the girl out of the country, but you can’t take the country out of the girl”
Meaning: “You can help those in need, but you can’t expect/force them help you back”
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17) “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the fire”*
Cross between: “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen” & “Don’t stand too close to the fire”
Meaning: “If a situation gets too difficult for you, remove yourself from that situation instead of being stubborn and trying to deal with it”
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18) “Build a man a fire and he’s warm for a day. Set a man on fire and he’s warm for the rest of his life”*
Cross between: “Give a man a fish, and you’ll feed him for a day. Teach a man to fish, and you’ve fed him for a lifetime.” & “Don’t stand too close to the fire”
Meaning: A humorous take on the above proverb
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19) “Hindsight is 50/50”
Cross between: “Hindsight is 20/20” & “You had a 50/50 chance of being right”
Meaning: “You can’t tell what the right choice was in a past situation because it didn’t happen, even when you think back on it as your future self with more life experience”
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20) “Always look both ways before brushing your teeth”
Cross between: “Look both ways before crossing the street” & “Don’t forget to brush your teeth”
Meaning: “Be cautious and look out for problems/danger, even in routine tasks/situations that seem like second-nature to you”
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21) “A bird in the hand is worth two killed with one stone”
Cross between: “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” & “Kill two birds with one stone”
Meaning: “Being content with what you have is worth more than being jealous of what you don’t [have]”
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22) “A penny saved is worth two in the bush”
Cross between: “A penny saved is a penny earned” & “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”
Meaning: “Being content with what you have is worth more than being jealous of what you don’t [have]”
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23) “Two peas in a pod are worth two in the bush”†
Cross between: “Like two peas in a pod” & “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”
Meaning: “A close relationship between two people is worth more than being jealous of a relationship you don’t have”
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24) “This may be water under the bridge, but blood is thicker than water”
Cross between: “Water under the bridge” & “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb”
Meaning: “This situation that happened to you in the past might not be considered relevant today, but remember that everyone else you hurt still remembers what you did”
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25) “If you don’t have anything nice to say, then don’t throw stones”
Cross between: “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all” & “He who is without sin, cast the first stone”
Meaning: “It’s hypocritical to act self-righteous if you yourself were about to do the same thing”
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26) “If we can’t grab the bull by the horns, we’ll milk it dry”
Cross between: “To grab the bull by the horns” & “To milk it dry”
Meaning: “If we can’t succeed by being direct/proactive, then we’ll take full advantage of the situation and drain it of its resources”
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27) “He’s not the sharpest needle in the haystack”
Cross between: “He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed” & “Like finding a needle in a haystack”
Meaning: A humorous take on the first idiom
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28) “He’s not the brightest tool in the shed”
Cross between: “He’s not the sharpest tool in the shed” & “He’s not the brighest bulb in the pack”
Meaning: A humorous take on the first idiom
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29) “It’s not over until the fat lady kicks the bucket”
Cross between: “It’s not over until the fat lady sings” & “To kick the bucket”
Meaning: “It’s not over ’til it’s over” or “They won’t quit until they’re dead”
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30) “There’s plenty of girls in the sea”
Cross between: “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” & “There’s more than one girl out there”
Meaning: Same as the above phrases
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31) “The squeaky mouse gets the oil”
Cross between: “The squeaky wheel gets the grease” & “The careless prey gets caught in the trap”
Meaning: “The one who complains the most gets the attention” or “The careless/reckless prey get killed off first”
<Original work by BenBRockN. Feel free to reblog, ONLY if you give credit to the original author (me). Thanks!>